I had a loss several months ago and now the due date for my baby is coming up. I am pretty sure that no one will even remember. I don’t know how to mark this day and I am dreading it.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The estimated due date is the first of several difficult milestones. It is also a very individual decision of how to mark it. Some families choose to perform some sort of ritual (religious or not) as a way of commemorating that this date has meaning. Others choose to take the day off of work and be intentional about how it is spent (ie: being good to themselves). Some people like to be around family or friends while others prefer solitude. Often times, each member of a couple will mark the date differently. It might be important to have some time to reflect during this date and perhaps write down your thoughts. Often times, loved ones don’t know how to mark this date either and are afraid of bringing it up. So if it is important to you to have family and friends remember, then I would suggest reminding them (whether it is an email, text, phone call, FB posting, etc).
Dr. Julie Bindeman is a clinical psychologist specializing in reproduction and parenthood who has worked in outpatient settings, private practices, and universities, including Marymount, Johns Hopkins, and Loyola.